The comedian talks about visiting farmers’s markets now that he’s middle-class, getting ghosted by his cleaner and going to the gym with other losers and loners
Sunday highlights? The farmers’ market in north London, now that I’ve worked my way into being middle-class. I’ll buy smoked trout, organic chickens, pheasant, vegetables and a very good Chinese chilli oil.
How do you get there? On one of those electric bikes, like Uber cyclists. I’m usually stealthed up with a mask, else people go: ‘There’s Paul Chowdhry on a bike. What you doing on a bike, bruv?’
Do you cook? I live on my own, so I have no choice. I’ll have a big brunch, then lie around watching YouTube.
What do you watch? That’s a good question. Nowadays, you don’t even know. You just scroll through stuff. Then I might go to the gym.
Who’s at the gym Sunday? Losers, loners, and reclusives, like me.
Sunday evening? I’ll make dinner from what I bought from the farmers’ market. Before freezing most of the stuff you think: ‘Might as well eat that.’ Chuck some chicken in the air fryer, maybe some mash. You need some veg, so chuck on a tomato, and Bob’s your auntie, you’ve made a meal.
Can’t you batch cook? I can’t be bothered. Plus, I’m usually on tour, so I’ll just eat whatever the tour manager brings in for dinner from the local Turkish or Indian restaurant. I had a curry the other night that I could still feel two days later.
Sunday cleaning? My cleaner ghosted me. She didn’t even say: ‘I’m not available.’ I’m a bit of a germophobe, my house is so clean, there’s not much to do. I’ve got a Dyson, which is bloody expensive for a Hoover, but it gets the job done.
Sundays growing up? We’d go to temple in north London, then a big family lunch with cousins and relatives with lots of Indian food. When you get older you realise that’s all disappeared and you’re on your own.
Paul Chowdhry: Englandia tours until late May (paulchowdhry.com)
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